Failure is my Ultimate Fear

Photo source: www.entrepreneur.com

As I get older, I notice more and more things that  might be dubbed as "OCD".  I've noticed a lot of different things that trigger my behaviors.  I've never been diagnosed professionally- but, it's kind of one of those things you just know you have. Of course, many of them could probably also be diagnosed as extreme phobia.  Anyway...

One of the things that causes me great anxiety, is going to a new place. It doesn't really matter what the reason for the going inside the new place, any new place causes me great anxiety. If I know this is going to take place before hand- I stress about it for days.

This week, I had to go into a new bank, to cash a check. Before I could go, I drove across town to ask my husband which door to enter. The thought of entering the wrong door, made me upset. It really bothers me when businesses do not have hours, and information on their front door with a sign that says open- or an obvious notification that this is the door you use.

But, then after finding out which door to use-  I still put it off as long as possible. Would the tellers and employees be in good moods or bad moods? Would they be annoyed that I brought all 3 kids with me? Will I have to show my id to cash this check? What if they can't find my account information?  What if I have a confrontation?  I paced back and forth in front of the building making excuses to the kids why we weren't going in there.

I eventually went through the door and had a great experience with zero issues.  But the anxiety that overcame me, was almost paralyzing.

This certainly is not the first instance this has happened. It happens a lot. Nearly every time I leave the house.  And the funny thing is, once I conquer that place- I never feel that way again about it.

You can imagine how this can directly affect my business. I mean, I am in a party plan based company.  I go to new places all the time. I find hostesses,  events and places to bring my inventory to show new clients- and provide an income for my family.  Going to a new person's home, I often know about it for weeks in advance. And, I go through this anxiety and dread for days.  As I approach these places and homes,  my mind becomes a complete blur. I don't know if adrenaline takes over- but, I doubt any hostess has ever sensed my anxiety.  And, I can only believe it's because- this is my calling.

It's not just buildings, homes or locations. I often get a great deal of anxiety using a new social media platform. What if...I do it wrong? What if... I can't comprehend the platform? What if I ....fail?


But, I constantly strive to learn, master and become an expert at these things.  Because, bigger than my anxiety about these things is my fear of failure. I can't fathom the thought of failing at life.

I know this has gotten me into some pretty hot water at times, but- I can only detail that as, ultimately, a lack of understanding of who I am.  I've been called some pretty ugly things- but, surprisingly, nervous wreck- isn't one of them.

I hate confrontation. If you met me in person, you'd observe that I am very quiet, shy... you'd probably think- wow, she's actually sort of cowering behind her husband.  You might not actively think that, but subconsciously- you'd notice.

I'm tenderhearted. I cry at everything.  Especially...confrontation. I can't control a confrontation- when people come at me in anger, retaliation, or whatever the reason-  I break down.  It debilitates who I am. It's a direct hit to my core.

I'm pretty lucky that I've found some strong pillars in my life. Those who can brace me up when I fall down.  Who hold my arms up, encourage me, and empower me to be better.

I'm very fortunate to be where I am. I may not have made millions or have mansions or even a new shiny car. But, I have success. Each time I conquer that location, that building, that hostess's home, or that new platform and master it...that is a success.

So sometimes, it might take me a little longer to do things. Just wait for me. Give me time.  I might be dealing with a lot more than I show.  I'm going to climb this mountain.  I am going to succeed.

Driving the Red Car

Yesterday, I  was overcome with an overwhelming memory of my first experiences driving a car.

I can remember back when I was about 11, my Dad taking my sister and I out to an old country road, and giving us our first driving lessons. First he showed us all the gadgets, and showed us how when we pushed the gas- the speedometer would change, and when we pushed the brakes, the car would slow down and stop.  He taught us what  P-R-N-D-3-2-1 meant, and then applied it so we could see what he meant.  Then we got to take turns driving. We went all of about a mile on that dirt road between the two of us- and it was the greatest feeling ever.  Scary as could be, but exhilarating at the same time.  I can remember the feeling of power I had, the knowledge that I could control this huge powerful machine, and it was awesome!

Not long after that experience, it became a regular thing that I'd get a call over the CB radio- to come pick up Dad, or my brother from the field.  Always just jumping in the old blue Chevy- and running out there going all of about 30 miles per hour, and no farther than 4 or 5 miles from home.  Always during the day.  Then the call came one time at night, something broke down and they needed me to come get them. No one had ever shown me how to turn the headlights on-  I was panicking!  What do I do? I had no choice, I had to figure it out on my own. See- there was no radio in that truck for me to call for help- I didn't want to go back in the house. I was embarrassed, and determined to make my Dad proud. So I messed with everything in that truck until the lights magically came on- the little button on the floor! Who knew?!   Then driving in the dark- wow, what a change!  But, I did it! And, I was so proud!

Over time- I got a little braver driving and began to go faster on those old dirt roads. One time, I was on my way to the field to get my brother and boy was I kickin' up dust! When I got to the combine- I remember my brother chewing me out for going too fast. I was oblivious to the idea of rolling the truck or  causing an accident. We were only a few miles from home- what could go wrong? I know he was scolding me out of love- NOW- then, I was like what are you freaking out about anyway?

Before long, I was old enough for drivers ed. Now you'd think - all that experience would have had me right on track to pass the class with flying colors and on my way to being the next Mario Andretti- but- honestly. I almost failed! Why?

I had never had to use reverse!  Aside from watching all of those horrible accident videos and reading the boring traffic school textbooks- we had to actually go out and drive a car. Oh boy!

Well, up until this point- I've only ever driven that old blue Chevy! So, the first day the instructor came to pick me up in that shiny red new car- I felt that fear creep up into my very soul! I was terrified!  I got in that car, and pulled out onto the highway, completely white-knuckled for an hour and a half until we got to "the city" to practice driving "in town".  Anxiety.  So. Much. Anxiety!

Well,  at that time, we switched drivers, we messed around with changing a tire and checking the oil and all those weird boy things.... and the other student drove around some- then it was my turn again.  This time we were to practice pulling into a parking space at the mall, and backing out. Say what? People actually do that?  Ok.

So, I pull into the spot, easy peazy. And, I put it into reverse and he says, "Ok, pull out and exit the parking lot to the left." So, I back up and turn the wheel to the left (making me point to the RIGHT of the parking lot). So he kind of clears his throat and tells me to park again and back out so I can exit left.  I repeated my same action.  Now, clearly irritated, he begins to get irate with me. I'm in tears. I can't comprehend how to make the car go the way I want it to.  I had never had to back up-  out on the farm-  I just turned the truck around by driving forward in a circle.  We must have parked and reversed a dozen times before he decided to let the other student take a shot at it.  Clearly giving up on me.  She asked for a break , and I was bawling in the back seat. She happened to be my best friend, well- she crawled back there with me and told me calm down. Then she did something remarkable. She took out a scratch piece of paper, and began to draw a car, and parking spots and an complete visual tutorial for me so that I could comprehend "reverse".  I never realized what a pivotal moment that was in my life.  I wish I had kept that drawing.

So,  I finally showed the instructor that I could indeed operate this red car, and I passed. I went on to get my permit, drivers license and later in life- even taught my husband how to drive.

How often do we go through life just learning the basic skills to get by? In our jobs and careers- do we only do enough to go forward? Do we get a little excited and rush ahead, only to get in trouble for being careless? Do we forget to go back sometimes, and exit left?  Maybe you never learned the entire process? Have you never had that person show you the step by step?

Do you now see how that is holding you back?  There is a pivotal moment in your life, in your career- where you need to take different instruction and learn a new technique. There are times where you need guidance, understanding, and expertise, to help you find the right direction. What would happen had I not calmed myself down, and not listened to my friend? I'd have failed the class. I would have had to wait another year to take the tests.  I'd have lost even more self esteem and respect.  And it would have been all my fault.

Several years later, I was hired on as a truck operator in my Dad's custom harvesting crew. Itty bitty farm truck, you ask? No way. I was now in charge of a grain truck! I had to get a special permit and everything! Now, I had to drive that truck from North Dakota, all the way to Oklahoma- pulling a trailer with combine headers on it. If you don't do farm talk- you have no idea what I just said or what that means- and that's ok- just know- it was a big responsibility!

My first car- age- 16 (1997)
I loved this car- RIP - hit by train in 1998

I was so thrilled and proud to work for my Dad in his business. I could drive that truck better than any ol' farm hand and boy could I roll that tarp with the best of them- (hint: it's all in the elbow!). I was one hot little truck driver at 18  years old!  But, it became clear that eventually, I'd need to back that big truck up, to a little tiny auger.  Again with the farm talk.  Well anyway- it's not an easy thing to do- you can't SEE the auger.  I clearly remember, that in Atwood, Kansas, there came that time. A whole new experience and clearly- I was having trouble. There was a man, who jumped up on the side of my truck and very awesomely taught me how to back that truck up to the auger.  He taught me what to watch, how to line it up- and he was very patient. We had to stop, pull forward, and back up many times before I could get it right- and he never once yelled at me, got visibly upset or seemed bothered by me.  I can't remember this man's name, now- but I remember exactly what he looked like.

Me, rolling the tarp with a little help from another crew member. (1999)
This was "my truck".

The line up!  Tollefson Harvesting (1999)

What if I had given up that day? What if I decided I couldn't do it, that it was too hard?  I'd have let my Dad down, he would have had to hire a new truck driver. I'd have been demoted to "gopher" again.  But, I took the guidance and expertise from this man- and gave it my best shot.  And while it took some practice- I became very good at backing that truck up!

Things get hard, sometimes. Your going to come up against new territory- new things that are hard.   Don't give up. Find that person who can give you the tools and skills to move past that and then become an expert yourself. Believe in yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to- it's WORTH it to give it your best effort!  I  promise!!!  Let your struggles empower you.

~Amanda "lil pooter"
Signing off.
10-4

Define Definition

Does anyone else use google to find definitions of words or is that just a nerdy thing that I do?

Like- not weird words- simple everyday words. Sometimes, I just like to know the exact definition of a word.
 For instance: Support and Micromanage. 
 I wanted to know, exactly, the definition of each term because apparently so many people are confusing the two! People who have never had true support in their business will often come into a new opportunity and when they receive an extreme amount of support- they immediately feel like they are being micro-managed.  
So how can we change this misconception of definition?

Recently there seems to be a very distinct line when it comes to direct sales personalities.  There are those who  crave the support and sisterhood/family like approach in a team.  And then there are those who feel like anyone who offers support or reaches out is stepping out of bounds and nosing in where they don't belong. They feel greatly violated and like anyone who asks, "how did your event go?"- is asking questions that are too personal!  

I've always offered my team an direct, hands on, extreme support kind of opportunity. I never want anyone to feel alone or lost. I pour hours and hours of my time into learning everything I can. I read books, watch webinars, attend meetings and conventions and then, pass on everything I learn to not only my team- but many, many others in our company-and sometimes even people not in our company.  I feel obligated to run my business this way.  I crave knowledge, I love being able to provide this kind of free help and knowledge to others.  I love that at the end of the day- I have helped someone better their circumstance or situation.  I don't ever try to do the work for anyone. I try not to say things like "this is the only way" or, "you have to do it this way"- but rather, "this is what I have learned" or "this was my experience".  I also follow the direct leadership's example. I follow shining examples of success and duplicate that.  I ask the questions that the leaders ask me. Because, my business is kind of their business. My success helps their success. We all kind of work together for total success.  It's true- my success is only accredited to my hard work and effort- what I put in, I get out- but, having that support all around me- is something that really moves me from "good" to "great".  

But lately it seems, there are some who find this type of support and help- smothering, intrusive or even abusive.  I can't comprehend that. If someone offers you their time, knowledge and endless support-  why would that be such a bad thing? I was not designed to be alone- work alone- and struggle through things alone. I was made to be interactive.  

I want to learn how to be the best leader I can possibly be.  I am constantly learning new leadership skills. I am following new leaders each day in all sorts of industries- to learn new things.  I want to master these skills and use them help people find success and happiness and, "business peace of mind".  No one should be unhappy or feeling alone or scared in their business.  

Leaders- how do you handle people who feel smothered by support? 

 “Leadership is the act of taking a person or group of people to a place they would not normally get to on their own” ~Unknown

Find more great leadership quotes here.

Why Do I do the "selfie" thing?

My Mom and I- at a Baseball Game

My Mom and I- Christmastime 2014

I have 7 minutes left for Wednesday- lol.

This was my ‪#‎wearitwednesday‬‪#‎wiw‬ selfie. It was just a regular work from home day for me so I was all about the hippie headband and my favorite teal necklace- I put my jewelry on even if I'm not going anywhere- because, it helps me feel beautiful every day. When Founder Trent Kirby was trying to name the company after they decided to make it a party plan business- he wanted the name to reflect his feeling that EVERY woman should feel so beautiful, that the Paparazzi would follow them everywhere. He was truly thinking of the consultants and customers even before Paparazzi was born.
I hardly ever allowed my picture to be taken before I started selling this jewelry.

 I find pieces that fit my qwerky nature, my goofy side, my fun and whimsical moods, and my serious- little black dress let's get this hot date on moods. When I can find something to fit my every crazy mood- I feel more confident and radiant. And that is just a small little tidbit reason why I love this business. Watch for my selfies- because it's not just about showing off some pretty jewelry- it's about me finding my self confidence, my self esteem and a little bit of joy! (Whew- finished this novel with 2 minutes to spare!)

Above, are a few more fun selfies I've taken over the past few months- just for fun. ;)

How to Survive The Red, White and Blue- Holiday!

Here are 10 simple tips to survive the holiday as a business person!

As we get ready for one of the biggest celebrations of the year, let's all remember some safety tips:

1) Going out of town? Don't forget your business cards! Leave them in gas stations all along the way! And wash your hands often.
 
2) Don't get so plastered, that people will remember you as the drunk jewelry lady. That's not good for business. Be responsible.

3) Don't be the over-salesy family member. You might get yourself a fat lip.

4) If you have a wearable product, wear it- but, don't flaunt it.  Just be yourself.

5) Don't forget to hydrate. No matter where you are this weekend, the temps are likely to be high- you'll be having fun and celebrating- but don't forget the H2o.  Heatstroke, dehydration and other heat related emergencies are at their peak this time of  year- don't let yourself get sick.

6) It's ok to find a cool spot to rest.  And wear sunscreen.  Sunburns are NO FUN.

7) Don't blow yourself up. That's bad for business.  If you are doing your own fireworks this year- don't get too crazy- practice safe setups, and keep the water hose nearby.

8) Relax and have fun. We work hard all year long in our business- it's ok to breathe and have fun.

9) Eat something new.  Go ahead, be a little adventurous.

10) Meet some new friends.  It's absolutely ok to meet strangers- and make connections. Just don't go getting into any vans with no windows that have "free candy" spray painted on the side!

Happy 4th of July!  Celebrate!

Daily Routines Make it or Break it!

Do you have a daily routine? 

Daily routines are very important!  This is something that I've always known, but not until recently put it into full effect!  I've seen multi-million dollar earners talk and preach about this relentlessly and, my mindset was always, "When I'm a millionaire, I'll set a better daily routine."

And that is where I was so terribly off track. Millionaire's don't wait for the first million to set up a great routine- they do it at the beginning!  This is something that's been holding me back all these years!

So, with some help from some friends and a few simple setups- I'm changing the course of my success!

First I found a planner I like- then, I made it "mine"- with stickers and decorations and yep-  expectations!  I started out very slow- and added one social media platform to each day to work on.  I would consistently follow my plan- but, not really "getting ahead".   So, over the past few weeks, I've been brainstorming and coming up with a new power plan!  I've completely re-worked my schedule!  I believe this is the key- to consistently work on your plan.  Work the plan and the plan works!

I've taken my paper planner virtual- I made a shareable/editable calendar using teamup.com. It's completely free, and you can have different links for different groups of people to use.  Share the link to your calendar for prospects, teammates, event coordinators and clients to request a time to work with you.  View my Calendar here: The Pink Boutique Calendar

I've added a 30-minute power session for each social media platform EACH day.  A great friend of mine shared this awesome checklist with me.

I love this checklist, because it not only tells me where I need to focus, but what I need to focus on.  I may not have all the things listed on this checklist, but, that can open time up for other things that are important to me, like booking parties, following up with clients and spending time with my family!  

Another helpful tip-  I bought one of those kitchen timers, the kind you just wind up for up to an hour. I set my timer for 30 minutes and get to work. When time is up, I switch to the next task.  Late at night when things quiet down with the kids, I can go back and finish the things I didn't quite get done the first time around.  But, when I know I have a time limit- I am more focused and get more work done than if I say "this is one thing you need to do today".  

Pro-Tip: Close all other things that could distract you. Don't open each item in a new browser window. Keep only one window open at a time, and dedicate your focus to that one thing.  When I'm blogging, I don't want Facebook running in the background dinging every ten seconds. That will get me wanting to stop my blog work, and check Facebook.  This is a HUGE time waster!  If you stick to the plan, FOCUS your time- you will get more done! 

And, last- don't get discouraged if you only work 20 minutes and your kids demand time with you. The whole reason we are stay at home parents, is because we want more time with our kids! Just remember that you owe 10 minutes to that platform later tonight when they are sleeping!

Something to consider: Hire a babysitter to play with the kids for an hour a two a week, to give you even more dedicated time to your business. There is no shame in this, you are still there for your kids if they need you-  and, it's great social time for you! Perhaps you know another stay at home/work at home mommy, and you can trade your hours- she can bring her kids one day and take them outside for an hour, and you can go to her house for an hour another day and take her kids outside.  Get creative!

Consistency is important. If you miss a few minutes here and there it won't kill your business- but, dedicate focused time every day to your business and you will prosper!   To learn more about what I do, click here . 

Have a happy week!

True Equality is LOVE- but, this article probably isn't what you expect.

I sat yesterday and watched my Facebook news feed blast joy, and hate- I was not surprised by any one persons post.  It's very controversial. I tend not to comment or participate in controversial subjects-  but, I do have words to say about this. And please- if you are not going to respond in LOVE- then don't comment. If you are already cringing with distaste- move on and don't read the rest of this. I'm not here to argue. But- as I watched all of you spew your opinions yesterday- I have one, too- and I'd like to voice it- lovingly.

There are a few things that bug me from both ends of the spectrum.
1) Gays who say "When you choose to be straight, I'll choose not to be gay."
 ~ The fact is, many persons who struggle with sexuality, often DO "choose" one orientation over the other.  Many who feel they are attracted to both sexes, often get married-to the opposite sex, have kids and live a very happy and fulfilling life. And never engage in actions that are "gay".  I know people like this. They made a choice to live straight, they are happy and well adjusted- and have no regrets.
2) The #1 argument that "Christians" have- is: "Homosexuals are purposely living in sin, and therefore we should refuse to marry them."
 ~ I ask you- how many straight couples did you marry in the past 20 years who were:
Alcoholics
Addicted to pornography
Gamblers
Smokers
Began their relationship as an affair
Living together before they were married
Sexually active before marriage
Addicted to drugs
Child molesters, rapists, murderers, liars, thieves and/or gluttonous
Not members of a church

Wouldn't all of those things be considered "sin"- and, many of them easily hidden from the world and purposely lived in day in and day out?
Wouldn't denying to marry them- ALL OF THE ABOVE reasons- pretty much close the doors to  your church and give the message- "no sinners allowed".   Aren't we as Christians supposed to be welcoming EVERYONE into our Churches so that we can share the Good News of Christ?

"All have sinned."

Imagine if no one loved you, accepted you, and shared the Word with you.  Can you imagine where you would be today? What if the Pastor of a church told you that you cannot attend church or get married, because-  you are a smoker? Stupid, right?


The ultimate point:  We all live in sin. We have all purposely lived in sin.

Whether or not you believe homosexuality is a sin- you cannot refuse to marry people because you believe they are purposely living in sin. Because- no one would be getting married. NO ONE.
God knows our innermost secrets. Lust, Greed, Gluttony....... whatever it is you hide- and struggle with-  that is between you and God to work out.  And if you believe homosexuality is a sin- then you cannot deny marriage only to them. You must deny marriage to ALL sinners. THAT is equality.

I'm not saying homosexuality is a sin. I'm not saying its not.  I'm saying you are not the judge of that, and no one sin is greater than another- aside from Blasphemy.
That little white lie/half truth you told last week- yeah- that was a sin no greater than murder.  Just let that sink in.  Would you really deny marriage to someone who told a "little white lie"?

And stop saying that people are nit picking the Bible apart.  How many times have you read a verse, and at some point in your life- you read it again, after hundreds of times, and it suddenly has a new meaning for you? That is what makes it the Living Word. Because God- has the ability to change YOU- and therefore your interpretations of things are different.

Know this: God works in ALL people.  

What I am saying is that as Christians- we are to love, and accept the people in this world. We are to show love, respect and kindness. Where would you find Jesus back in the day? Amongst the sinners, sharing LOVE.

God works on the heart- that is HIS job. It is our job, to spread His Word and Love- just as HE would do if He was among us.  If - IF- being gay is a sin- let GOD do the convicting. We are here only, ONLY, to show His love.

 "And the greatest commandment is LOVE."

What I've seen many "Christians" portraying lately is not love- it's  exactly opposite.  And that is exactly why Christians have a bad rep.

Pray for all people equally. Love all people equally.  Let God do what he's supposed to.  That is true equality.

Just thought I'd share...

This is a very well written article, posted today by my upline-  :)

So you want to join Direct Sales: So you are thinking about getting into Direct Sale...: So you are thinking about getting into Direct Sales, huh? Well here is a little advice from someone that is in it, Direct Sales isn’t for e...

Everything you did before, was leading you to now.

Years ago, I was a volunteer for a crisis call center.  I underwent over 90 hours of crisis intervention training.  I was certified in ASIST and CERT, and helped organize suicide awareness walks.  This moment in my history has helped define who I am today in my home business.  You are probably wondering how. Keep reading!

Before the volunteer work, I put myself through 4 years of online college classes and earned 2 degrees. The first in Bridal Consultation/ Event Planning and the second in Small Business Management.  It's been about 11 years since I finished those courses and, I have never planned a wedding or managed a small business (outside of the home).  I probably couldn't recite a single chapter in any of those books- in fact, I would probably fail the final exams today.  It's not that I never learned anything, I just have never had the opportunity to apply it to my every day life. At least, not in the way it was designed.  I spent a lot of money on those classes, too!

During my time at the call center, I received a quite an honorable award for my work. I logged in the most hours in an entire year, more than most of the volunteers had done in 3 years time individually. I rearranged my work schedule to be there, took in all the extra training I could, even trained many new volunteers. I actually began to wonder if I should pursue a paid position. But, inevitably, some family situations began to wear me out, and I fizzled very fast. I reflect back often of the many calls I took, how many people I helped talk down, and how many times I needed to call for backup.  I learned all about how to cope with loss, how to manage crisis situations but most importantly, I learned how to work with people.  It has truly become a life skill, that I have been able to hone and deeply embed into my every day life.

Some of the things I learned were how to empathize, and the differences between that and sympathizing.

I learned how everyone has crisis, and that my crisis may not mean anything to you- but it could be my whole world crashing in on me.

I learned how to make and uphold life-pacts. And how the simple act of writing something out on paper can solidify and change your thought process.

Many years later, and a few kids more, and a move to another state- I found myself in a parenting class.  This class fascinated me and I found out, I have an obsession with the brain.  I am totally consumed with finding out why and how the brain operates. I learned so much about how to shift your mindset. Not only did I learn how to manage situations with my children, I've learned how to apply these management solutions to my own life in business. I learned how to upshift from a negative mind to a positive one. I learned how to recognize my triggers. I learned that sometimes,  you have to sit down and make your brain think by exercising both sides.

Again, after a few years- I found myself taking classes to be an EMT. Again grossly intrigued by body function, hormones, chemical responses, and even all the blood, guts and gore- I learned how to get calm under extreme pressure. How to go with your gut- but most importantly how to PUHA! {Pick Up- Haul Ass}

How does all of this apply to home business, being a stay at home mom and my life today?

Well,  every single one of these has been about one specific purpose: To help others.  To assist them into living a quality and comfortable life.  To find happiness. And to keep moving forward in life.

This is my life's calling. To help others.
I'm sure that while I cannot sit here and recall the lessons from my college course work, I picked up little seedlings of skill that all the other things in my life have helped me grow and nurture. It did introduce me to the world of being my own boss, and creating my own job security.

Crisis management, coping skills, persistence, consistency and patience all came with time.  I was able to experience many different sides and situations of crisis- and from all of those angles, I have formed a great understanding of  grief, pain, suffering, chaos, depression, fear, anger, loss and loneliness.

Many days, my life is filled with chaos. The phone will ring off the hook, the kids will not slow down, my message box fills up, the bills all show up in one day, friends get hurt...and it would be so easy, so easy...to just throw it all in. But, I call upon those skills I've been building, forming, and hoarding over the past 11 years. I begin to practice what I've learned and begin to work out my problems one step at a time.

I have learned that all this time, all these things, were stepping stones to the leader I am becoming in my life.  A leader with a great understanding of things, and skills and tools to teach you how to grow up your business strong and stable. All these things helped point me to where I am now. And, this too, is a lesson all it's own. I'm learning leadership and building it up right from the ground.

I didn't add 1,000 people to my team in one year. I didn't hit the highest rank in 6 months. But,  I am established, firmly planted and branching out. I'm ready to help you, teach you, show you-  help you get to the point in your life that you want to be at.  If this sounds like something you want- please reach out to me. I can help you!

Launch Party Etiquette

If Walmart were opening their business for the first time today- do you think they would be successful hosting a Facebook Launch Party? Or, would they have more success actually inviting people to their store? I'm betting you'd want to go to the store!

So, when you start a home business- host an open house launch party in your home or in a local public place like a community center, park or favorite dining facility. Hand out invitations to everyone! Especially the people... you DON'T know.
Then, have another launch party within a week- if your first one was during the week, hold the next one on the weekend....

THEN do an online launch party.
Doing it in THIS order, will probably get you bigger results faster.
‪#‎protip‬ ‪#‎glitterbombmom‬ ‪#‎teampinkboutique‬ ‪#‎ladyboss‬

Got this in today!

30 seconds 30 days- day 3

30 seconds 30 days- Day two

Worst case scenario....

A little over 3 years ago- I was debating this home business thing. I was torn up over having to invest in something- because, all the warnings say "if you have to give them money, it's a scam"- while this is somewhat true - it's highly vague. 
A business that offers a product or service, to offer your clients- will often need you to invest in the products to make the business work. It is very much like opening up a store front on main street- you need inventory to sell to your customers.
If a "business" asks you to invest in something and does not have a product or service to offer, but relies on adding people under you to make money. That is a scam- and is highly illegal.
MLM companies are not scams. They are not illegal. They offer products and services. MLM is more than just adding people under you- a good MLM will allow the people under you to move above you providing they do the work to get there. A good MLM will have multiple ways to earn money.
My company does just that.

But, even many who comprehend all this, still struggle with the feeling of failure and opt not to jump in. Why?

Because there is this fear that they don't know enough people to get started. Here is what my thoughts are.

Business is highly reliant on everyone you don't know. Many times our friends and family, are not our biggest supporters. Many times they are your worst critics and are there in the sidelines rooting for you to fail.

When you start a business, throw a launch party. Hand out invitations to everyone you DON'T know. If you are new to the neighborhood, throw a "new neighbor party"- Invite people from the grocery store, the bank, the post office, the hair salon- pretty much - everyone you see within a weeks time. This is a fantastic way to make new friends, get new eyes on you and your business and be successful.

But- don't stop there. Host an open house twice a month, or at the very least- once a month. Post fliers up everywhere, hand out physical invitations, just like for your launch party. Create a consistent routine- and people will not only begin to be loyal and come (it will take some time for them to trust you) and bring new friends, too.

Consistency is key. Start off on the right foot with a launch party- and keep it rolling over and over and over.

So- if you've been thinking about joining Paparazzi. I can help you plan, work and succeed at all of this. My team and I are ready to help you. We offer 24-7 support, and training. Unlimited inspiration and motivation. You will become empowered and find a family you never knew you could have.

What's the worst thing that can happen? You get "stuck" with really cute and fun jewelry that you can keep for yourself or give away for gifts for the next few months? Doesn't seem so harsh to me. Take a leap of faith. #yougotthis #ibelieveinyou #teampinkboutique

30 Seconds 30 Days Challenge- Day 1

It's all about the FORM!

They really should teach things like this in high school. And suddenly, I'm sitting here thinking- haven't I said that before?  A resume never got me anywhere.  But my FORM has!  What in the world am I talking about?

For 3 years, I've poured my life into learning, applying, learning, applying- trying to find the best methods to grow my business.  I've followed some really big people, and learned a ton!  One of the best tools that I've come across, and probably one of the most solid keys to success is building relationships. But honestly- they never taught us how to do this in school- or in ANY of my college courses on small business.  I think this is fundamental.  You need to make friends.  When we start any business we are encouraged to make our FRANKS list. Friends, Relatives, Associates/Acquaintances, Neighbors, Kids, Service.  See the first one? Friends. How exactly does one go about "making friends". I tell you something, I was a loner in school. I had maybe one or two good friends, and that's it.  I didn't "know how" to make friends, and no one ever taught me.  So, when getting into business and making this list- I thought- now who do I know? I don't have "friends". I had to learn how to make new ones and this was a huge struggle for me.

Well today I can tell you, it's actually really easy!  I've stumbled across a method that really works wonders- even if you are not in business and just want friends!  The FORM method is fantastic, and it's genuine.  Put yourself in there- be real and learn to listen, not just with your ears- but with your heart.

FORM:

Family- Ask things like, "Are you married? Do you have kids?" People just open up! We love to brag on family! Ask questions that demand explanation, like- "how did you meet your husband?" Generate a conversation.

Occupation: Ask them things like: "What do you do for a living?" " Do you enjoy your job?" "Does it leave you feeling fulfilled?"

Recreation: "Do you take family vacations?"  "Tell me about your favorite trip!" If they haven't gone for awhile= they will probably show some sort of desire or longing to go somewhere "someday".

Money: "Do you feel like you have enough money?"  "Do you have a nest egg?" "Would you be ok if your husband suddenly lost his job?"

People will tell you their whole life story!! What you are looking for is 1 or 2 stresses in their life that YOU can offer a solution to (your opportunity). Now, I don't recommend that you just sit down and ask all these questions in one sitting, or make it like an interview. Just be real with people.  It might take 5 conversations to cover it all- but what are you doing during that time? Building a relationship and trust.  You don't even need to go in order-  Maybe start with vacations!

When you begin to learn about them as a person, and what they really need in their life (they may not even know!)- you can offer them a solution without being salesy.  At that time you can say, you know- I used to feel the same way/be in that same situation- this (opportunity) has really helped my family and I!

Leave them wanting more, let them ask you about your life and how it's changed.  Let the conversation happen.

We need to remember that not everyone will open up to you. Not everyone is going to need your opportunity, and even the ones who do need it- not all of them will accept it.  But, don't throw the relationship away- they could be fabulous customers or refer your next rockstar to you.  You just never know!

This will not get you rich quick. But you will have stronger teams in the long run.  This has honestly changed the game for me!  To learn more about what I do, click here!  I'd love to work with you!

3 Simple Steps to Success

This will probably be the shortest blog ever!  Yay for you!

There are 3 very simple steps to success. It's so easy, you'll kick yourself for not thinking of it!

Number one:  Start.

I mean literally. Put away all of your excuses, and just start the dang thing.  If you really want it, you will find a way to get the investment money.  You'll find 2-4 hours a week to invest into the business. You'll find a way.  So, just START.

Number two: Show your friends.

This is a bit harder. You'll need to get the trust from your new customers.  Establish yourself. Learn all you can about your new business so you can answer questions.  Research your new market. Get the products in front of people.  Let everyone you know and everyone you don't know, know about your new business. Show them your excitement!

Number three: Collect your profit.

Profit is so much more than monetary. While this is nice and very likely why you started your new business. There is so much more to treasure!  The memories and experiences you will collect during your career, are priceless. Giving someone an opportunity to a better life, or boosting someone's self esteem, or watching people blossom from a timid person to a bold, and confident entrepreneur- is awesome. Collect your rewards.

That's it.  Just start, work it, and collect the rewards!

Considerations

I'm sorry- I just have to admit this. I'm still upset. I ran into a situation recently that really put my business in a bind- and it's making me upset. You will probably never see this, and if you did- you probably won't even think it's about you.

I will be the first to tell you, that not every consultant who joins your team, will like you. Not every consultant, will stay on your team. But, I just want say- that it's not always right when they leave. And sometimes you will never know why they don't like you.  There will never be a confrontation or argument, they just will decide one day they don't like you, and they will stop communicating with you.  And that really is okay.  It's hard- but, it's ok.

But, on the flip side, it's not right to quit- get mad- throw fits and destroy an entire team, because you are selfish and feel hurt.  Especially, when there are clear cut rules, and/or terms and conditions that YOU AGREED TO when you signed up for something.  You agreed to the conditions.  You signed the contract, and the company (in this case) was abiding by those rules set in place. I don't care if you do think you are the exception to the rule.  It's not right to hold a grudge because someone did their job.

You are entitled to your feelings.  Just as I am entitled to mine. Here is what you did because you decided to be immature.

You had no consideration for anyone around you.

You hurt your sponsors income. Just because you don't need the income, does not mean that she is not relying on income you have generated for her.  This is her only income, and now- you have taken well over half of it away.  I'm sure she was relying on that income to pay bills, feed her family and generally just to live. Did you even think of her? Did you even call her to talk about the situation? Did you even ask her for help?

You hurt people beneath you. You have shown yourself to be a weak and immature leader for your team.  You have definitely led by example, and now they are all going to leave, too- because of a problem that you failed to handle correctly. They may have been setting goals to make this something big for themselves, and now you have destroyed that dream for them. Did you consider their feelings? Did you consider what you might be doing to their future?

You hurt MY family.  Taking a hit like this- means I now have to replace you, and everyone you take with you, with 2 more people- each.  My kids, my husband, and myself-  all now have to struggle to replace that lost income, that we have definitely appreciated the past 4-5 months. Did you consider us at all?

And the biggest thing I am confused about, is that you told me that you enjoy this business.
You find joy in offering these products to others, and you enjoy engaging with your customers. So you are letting one little tiny FIXABLE thing, destroy it all.  

Then, when I tried to help you- By taking time out of MY schedule and business, to fix your problem... you refuse to communicate with me- and find your own "fix it" solution.  Making ME look like an idiot trying to help you.  I do not appreciate the lost time, your attitude, or your selfishness.

But, I guess in all fairness. I don't want people like that on my team anyway. We are a team that focuses on empowerment, encouragement, service and love.  Sometimes that means we need to also forgive.

So I say all of that to say this. I am praying for you, and all of those surrounding you affected by your selfish decisions.  I also forgive you for hurting so many.  And, I release you. I let it go.  I'm hurt, upset, and confused by this situation- but, I am giving it to a higher power. I can not let negativity drag me down. I have zero time for that. I wish you all the best in your future and hope that you find the success and joy that you are seeking.

I'm sure this is not the last time a situation like this will occur. I'm sure over my career with this business- there will be dozens of other situations just like this. But,  as with everything- this is a learning experience for me.  I am learning how to deal with this particular kind of situation- and, I guess, for what it's worth- Thanks for that.  Lessons lead to blessings.

What do you do when you feel wronged by your company?

Recently, I've been attempting to be a better leader by taking some simple steps- that no doubt scare me. Part of the reason this scares me, is because- I am so uncomfortable with confrontation, I am literally scared of being yelled at.  But, I know that my business will never grow, if I don't just deal with it and move past it.  I have to learn to deal with these situations, so that I can continue doing what I love.

I want to discuss how to deal with situations that make you feel like throwing in the towel.
Every business is going to have some major bumps in the road, and without doubt, you will come across a situation that really fires you up.  You are going to want to quit. You are going to want to talk bad about someone or something in your company.  But, I really want to encourage you to not do that.

Business is built on relationships.  And while you might be feeling like someone, or the company, doesn't care about you- you have to remember there is someone out there who is looking at you, too. They are watching your actions, they are seeing how you deal with stress. They are looking up to you. And if you throw a fit, stomp and throw your fists- they are going to feel like YOU don't care about them.  You are someone to somebody.  And they want to learn from you.

If you truly love doing what you've been doing, sometimes you just have to take the less traveled tour- and, push past your feelings of hurt and thoughts of "they don't care". The truth is, if they didn't care- they wouldn't have even offered the opportunity in the first place.

To even throw out the term "they don't care about me, why should I care about them"- without having ever even met or TALKED to the founders/ceo's of the company to find out their vision- is childish.

Major companies and corporations are tied up so often with legal knots. I'm sure they would LOVE to bend over this way or duck under that way to help you, but they literally just can NOT do it- no matter how special you are.

Imagine the pickle they would be in if they made a special exception for everyone in a special circumstance. They wouldn't be a very stable and firm business model, would they?

Many times the problems and issues we come up against are clearly outlined for us to avoid in the fine print. If anything offers you a terms and conditions agreement to sign, or a policy to agree to- read it and understand that sometimes unforseen things happen, and sometimes there will be no way to rectify a problem that came up. And it's not that the company is looking down on you, or doesn't care about you or that you aren't special and valuable to them. Sometimes, it's just a knot they can't untie.  Sometimes it's a knot that might be holding the company in place so that you can continue doing something that you love to do.

When you can tell me that you love the look on people's faces when they find out you are coming over, or are going to be at this place or that, or that they light up when you tell them the price or what the product is- and, you tell me how good that makes you feel to offer something like that to your friends, family and customers-  then it's worth it to forgive and move on.  It's worth it to take a breath, count to ten and keep going.  The world is not out to get you. They cannot take your passion from you. This is something that can be worked out, you can get past this.  I promise.

After all, that is what this business is all about- To change the lives of our Consultants and their customers by providing fashionable and affordable accessories, and by providing an opportunity to financially benefit their lives and the lives of their families in a positive way.

6 Simple Steps to Leadership

There is no doubt that inside each of us, lies a leader dying to get out.  When you join a MLM type company you already have it in your mind that you might grow a team. The pull of residual income is a powerful thing, and- rightly so!  But, many of us do not even know where to begin when it comes to being the leader.  It can actually become very overwhelming and frustrating if you are not well prepared.  Sometimes, it kind of takes one by surprise, when you open yourself up for success and it really happens! Here are some quick, never fail, go to things you can do to always be the cool, confident and well prepared leader.

1.  Know your stuff. Even if you are new to this type of business, begin learning all you can about your company, and business.  YouTube and Google are your friend- there is tons of free training out there you can piece together to get your style.  You don't have to "know it all", but begin to familiarize yourself with all things business.  Know who you can contact in case you come into a situation where you don't know it all.  Know your policies and procedures, know your up-line or the founders.

2. Be available.  Many times, all you need to do is be available and listen.  But also, remember to set your boundaries. You probably don't want people calling at 2 am- so set your hours.  If you begin to be available 24-7, you will be contacted 24-7 and they will take advantage of that and become upset if you suddenly aren't available. Make it clear they can message and email anytime they want, but you will only be available via phone and to reply during xx time and xx time. And, stick to it.

3. Make use of a schedule or planner.  Use checklists and stick to it.  Block out time for each task. Getting into a daily routine is one of the most useful of all tips and tricks.  Consistency is so important. Consistency is duplicate-able. When your team can duplicate what you do, the entire team is prepared for anything.

4. Don't forget your "Why". Why did you start your business? What propels you? What motivates you to keep going? Review it often, as it will change over time.  Share your why with your team. They want to know your story. If you hold back- this will challenge the relationship.  They need to connect with you, and build trust with you.

5. Take time to rest and recharge. You can't go at it 24-7. You will burn out, become agitated and fizzle quickly.  You need to let your brain rest. Clear out the junk in your mind, and make room for new ideas, new growth and new opportunities.

6. Be open to change and growth. Always grow your network, build it daily. Add to your list each day, follow up and connect.  But, be open to finding new ways to lead, new ways to network, new ways to sell. Be an example to your team by continuing to grow, network, learn new tips, tricks and techniques. Never stop seeking knowledge.  You never know who's watching you, and you never know who's going to be the next person to teach you something incredible!

1 Simple action to meeting new people

I wish I knew how many times my teachers in school told me how many times I'd need geometry and algebra in my life, because- I'd love to tell them that they were horrifically wrong.  What I really needed to know, was how to meet new people.
Unfortunately, many people assume going to school is enough to teach you how to meet  new people and socialize. I'm living proof that that is a huge, big fat, enormous- LIE.  You see,  throwing someone into a room full of elephants does not teach you to become an elephant. It teaches you how to be afraid for your life and how to hide and be the mouse. But, just as the mouse is scared of the elephant- the elephant is just as scared of the mouse.
You, little mouse, have great potential!

What people need to really learn in school- is how to meet people. Business especially, is dependent on your skill to meet new people and form relationships!  But as I go along leading men and women into success, I am coming to realize that people really don't know HOW to meet people!

I must admit, when I first started my business, I didn't know how to meet new people either! I was stuck, trapped, inside my comfort zone! I insisted that I didn't have one, but- now- I know I do.
Sometimes meeting new people brings on a lot of anxiety for me. Even calling people on the phone can create a near panic attack for me. I have gone through so much in my life that every new interaction or new call can feel like a confrontation, and I dread hearing "no" or the possibility of rejection. But, now, almost 3 complete years into this journey- I'm learning. There are a lot more willing people than unwilling, if you play your cards right.

So, today I want to teach you the very simple art of "meeting" people.  You are going to be amazed at how simple this is. Whether you are online, or out in the real world it all comes down to this ONE action step.  Just one simple thing.  Ready for it?

Say HELLO.  That's it. I'm serious. It's all about starting a conversation with people! Say hello and then give them a genuine compliment and see where the conversation leads you!  It's REALLY that simple!

Sometimes, you will get a hot new lead, sometimes you make a great new friend and sometimes you will get a hot new success team mate! But you will not progress quickly or maybe not at all if you never open your mouth (or the message box) and start a conversation!

 You don't need to be salesy or pushy at all. Just meet people, be their friend and build your relationships. When the right moment comes, the opportunity will present itself and they will listen, because they trust you.

What exactly are you "Affirming"?

affirmation noun

1.

the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.

2.

the assertion that something exists or is true.

3.

something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.

4.

confirmation or ratification of the truth or validity of a prior judgment, decision, etc

5.

Law. a solemn declaration accepted instead of a statement under oath.



When I first started in my business, I was told often to "fake it till you make it".  Well, I wasn't really sure what exactly that meant. I figured- I was just supposed to lie about things until they were true. But, now almost 3 years later, I have found a better understanding. While that was taught with good intention, there really is a more honest, and fulfilling way to get your business rolling.  Affirmations.

As defined above, an affirmation is admitting that something is true. Or- will be true.  For instance-  "I will have dinner".  We know this is true, because you will get hungry, and you will do anything and everything you can to find food and eat.

But, we must be careful. Especially as business people.  Affirmations can make or break you. It is absolutely possible to be affirming the NEGATIVE things!  "I can't find hostesses", "I can't book parties", "I can't sell the product". Those are negative affirmations!  See, if you say something enough, you begin to believe it. And then guess what, it's true, because- you've convinced yourself it's true so that is what you've attracted to yourself.

Start making positive affirmations- "I book parties every day!", "My calendar is always booked!", "I have the fastest growing team this month!"

Write them down every day- pick 5 and rotate them through the week.  Say them out loud, add them to your vision board and dream boards!  Get used to telling your customers and clients these positive affirmations about yourself, "I am on the fast track to the top of the company!", "My sales are paying for my mortgage!", "I am going on the company cruise in 2016!".

Say them because you believe it! Say them as if it's already true, and pretty soon, you'll be so shocked at the results that they really ARE true!  Here are 6 affirmations I use every day.

I am beautiful!
I meet new customers and hostesses every day!
My team grows daily.
Money is available to me, and I can have it anytime I want.
Everything I need and want, I can have, because I am successful.
My calendar is always full!

I began using affirmations consistently beginning August of 2014. In that time, my team has grown by 26 people~ !

Here is a link to an article with 42 more affirmations and a little more information about them! Make a change today, start affirming positive things and see where it takes you!

 

This is Me, being Brave.

This is me. Amanda Frampus. Mom of 4 boys.

I have to tell you a story. 

I was kinda picked on in school. I was pretty quiet and shy- kinda a loner. I was that "christian girl"- I didn't date anyone from my school, I had one or two friends- but pretty much- it was just me. I spent a lot of time alone in my room- or playing with my sister. Sports were hard for me. I wasn't gifted at music, sports, or anything- I am kinda good at writing- but, I'm no author. Anyway- away from my hometown- was a different story. I went to Bible camp from the time I could stay the night alone- (I'm pretty sure it started with family camp, then kids camps, then teen camp...and the big one- the conventions). At camp- I was someone. I could open up and be the total and complete weird nerd that I am- and- it was embraced- complimented- adored. I LOVED camp! 
Anyway- so, as I grew up- I kinda stuck to that loner type life. You know- just me my family and I. Kinda quiet and qwerky. I don't like a lot of drama, and loud noisy stuff. I like quiet music and overcast days. I like naps. But- it's kinda lonely, too. 
And then it so happened that I find myself in a direct sales company- where uh- it gets pretty loud sometimes. lol. I kinda found a little family in here. I have found hundreds of women and men- who are a bit qwerky. And, I feel at home! 
So this business kind of challenges me a lot. Not just the challenge of being a work at home parent and having to manage our time and budget wisely. You know- all that grown up stuff. But also getting way outside a comfort zone. I remember telling my sponsor- "I went and bought some hair flowers, because- I'm not sure I can pull off the big flower look." 
And- I also specifically remember when I first started, saying something like, "I don't have a comfort zone. I'm ready to do whatever it takes." 
Well hello- I found my limits. lol. I'm willing and able to push past them. But, I've definitely found the edge of my box. 
Now you may look at me taking "selfies" and say oh there she goes again, promoting her business. But let me spill the beans for you. I'm not JUST promoting my business- because, well let's face it- I really am my best and most affordable advertisement campaign. But, I am showing you something else, too. 
I am showing you me.

 This is ....ME. I am a normal mom with 4 kids who battles with things like depression, self consciousness, my weight... all those "normal" adulthood things. 

Recently, I've been wearing hippie headbands. It darn near gives me a panic attack leaving the house wearing one. I adore them- they are sooooo cute! I love the way they look on everyone else and you bet I can style YOU up to look fantastic in them as well. But on ME. I think I look ridiculous. This was a comfort zone issue. See- we didn't have hippie headbands when I first started. So no problems, right? 

Isn't she GORGEOUS?! 

I tell you what. It takes a lot of courage for me to take a picture and post it on every social media outlet I use. It's scary. I constantly think someone is going to make a snide comment about how it's not "me". 
But- ever since I was in high school- I had an aunt who would tell me- "you have a hippie girl spirit".

Anyway- look at me not being an author- right? I just wanted you to know- that it's not always just a ploy to get you to buy stuff. Sometimes, it's just me taking a step out of my box and believing in myself that I AM beautiful. Sometimes it's just me being brave!

A day I felt completely ridiculous.