I have found through social media, that our reactions are so different, than if we were to experience that situation face to face. For example, when I clean out my "friends list" on Facebook, I often remove 50 to 100 people that I have never even "met". And, sometimes even ones I do know- but feel have drifted away. I almost always expect at least one of them to message me and say, "What happened? Did Facebook glitch and take me off your list?". Facebook is about to turn 10 years old. In the past 10 years, not a single person has sent me a message like that. So, for me- it kind of hits you right in the ticker. I often think to myself, "was my friendship even valuable to them? I mean, they didn't even notice I was missing!" or, I find myself thinking ~ "Wow, I guess we weren't as close as we thought we were!". This may not be the case at all. Many times, we don't even notice that we've been removed, misplaced or lost. Not until that person goes to clean out THEIR list, and you aren't there. Or, when they do think of you and want to ask you a question. Then, you become noticed. And, sometimes- they just plain take offense at it all, and post something snarky about it. But then, it's pretty well confirmed that you weren't valued, but rather they thought they were the bag of chips in the relationship.
I've also been on the other side of it all. I've been removed, blocked and forgotten- and never been more pleased about it. Of course, it's usually done by a person who never uplifted or supported me to begin with.
What if these things were to happen in person? What if you were just hanging out one day, and the person you were chillin' with, just got up and left? Wouldn't you go after them? Wouldn't you do everything you could to salvage that relationship? It's not so easy to just laugh off. Social media, kind of numbs our hearts, sometimes.
But, how can all this apply to business, anyway? Well, In my almost 2 years in direct sales- it pretty much means everything. I quickly added so many people to my private profile, I began to feel very out of control in my life. People I didn't really know were liking family pictures, commenting on sensitive situations- even stealing ideas! But, I felt like I was obligated to be their friend. My whole life is about helping people, it's what I was born to do. But, no one took the time to teach me how to do that in business. How in the world can I be "friends" with everyone in my business?
I felt like I needed to friend all my customers. Even though, I had a fan page. I felt like I needed everyone in my up-line and down-line, as a friend. But really, what I was doing, was forcing my family and friends, into a corner. I began to neglect them! I can't have that! I needed to make a line. To draw a boundary. So, I cleaned up. I did the routine yearly Facebook cleanse, and removed anyone I had never met in person, and those whom I felt had "drifted" away from me. I kept my fan page for my customers, and created a blog for my business friends. Oh boy, was I in for it now!
Did I get the emotions previously discussed? Absolutely! When I thought certain ones didn't notice, it hurt. When, maybe they did notice, and not message me or ask- but rather, make a very public post about it (whether it was about me or not, I'm not sure, but it was about the same situation- so naturally, I assume-). A post, maybe, that was filled with a shaming of sorts- one that kind of stung. Oh, I should let them have it!!! Right? Negative.
I could get mad. I could let my hurt take over my emotions. I could throw a tantrum. But, as a leader, a business person- as a friend. I stay professional. I still extend a hand of encouragement, and take a moment to uplift and support. Because, honestly- what does Facebook know about friendship? Certainly, nothing. It holds no bars around my heart. I am still free to be friends with anyone I please on or offline. And, I will continue to take notice of people gone missing, and extend a hand of encouragement. Because maybe all they really want to know, is how much value they hold in my heart. Maybe they just need to know they meant something to me. And, who am I to deny that they don't? They were there for a reason to begin with- after all. Everyone needs to feel and know their worth.
You matter, even if Facebook doesn't say so.
I could get mad. I could let my hurt take over my emotions. I could throw a tantrum. But, as a leader, a business person- as a friend. I stay professional. I still extend a hand of encouragement, and take a moment to uplift and support. Because, honestly- what does Facebook know about friendship? Certainly, nothing. It holds no bars around my heart. I am still free to be friends with anyone I please on or offline. And, I will continue to take notice of people gone missing, and extend a hand of encouragement. Because maybe all they really want to know, is how much value they hold in my heart. Maybe they just need to know they meant something to me. And, who am I to deny that they don't? They were there for a reason to begin with- after all. Everyone needs to feel and know their worth.
You matter, even if Facebook doesn't say so.
So keep shining. You are a diamond- And, I value you.
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